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Often, it's hard for people in the United States to comprehend gender relations in comparatively socially conservative countries like the Islamic Republic. In turn, this leads to an overall confusing situation in which faulty accusations are made and realities are disregarded in place of elitist criticism and crucial misunderstandings.
As simple as the following statement may seem, it's fundamental to understanding Iranian social structure: Iran and the United States are different. They have different histories, religious beliefs, cultures, and social structures. So trying to judge the two very different countries by the same standard is just wrong.

What Iranians want is popular sovereignty and the right to live their lives without being told by the West that they are inferior and medieval because they believe in a different social structure and sense of national identity.

In Islam, when two people get married, they enter a mutually binding contract in which certain obligations are laid out for the husband and wife. For example, men have the legal burden of the financial well being of the family, while women have the obligation to provide loving companionship. It's a common misconception that Islam forces women to be stay at home moms in fact, a woman can even legally charge her husband for breast feeding their children.

The broader idea isn't that women should be forced to stay at home, but rather, that women shouldn't be placed in a position where they are forced to work, as they often are in west. Women are completely free to work, and are even sometimes forced to do so, but by and large, it's a decision left up to them; men have the complete financial obligation for the family, and he has no right to demand any income a women may earn.

In Iran, there are certain beliefs about gender roles which western liberal traditions simply can't seem to grasp. Many social liberals can't fathom the idea that because a social structure differs from their own highly ideological notions of an equitable society, that the opposing social structure is anything but oppressive, backwards, and in need of comprehensive change.

Who is willing to say American gender and family roles are perfect, or even highly satisfactory? Nearly half of all marriages end in divorce. Children are often born out of wedlock, and single moms are forced to work just to provide food for their kids. I'm not nearly ready to say Iran doesn't have its own social problems, but I am ready to say the problems are much different. Family is placed in such a high priority that married couples sometimes stay together so their children won't have to experience a split family.

"To Muslim women elsewhere in the strictest parts of the Islamic world, the Iranian woman riding to work on her motorbike, even with her billowing chador gripped firmly in her teeth, looks like a figure to envy," says writer Geraldine Brooks. "'They are our superwomen,' said Imam Fadlallah... she spoke wistfully of Iranian women's opportunities to study and work. 'We have to struggle to be as strong as they are.'"

And indeed Iranian women are strong; they compose a majority of students in universities, have a presence in the workplace if they choose so, and have sacrificed endlessly for their country. Further, according to the World Public Opinion Survey, "Large majorities of Iranians endorse the principle that women should have equal rights with men and that over the course of their own lifetimes, women have gained greater rights."

This is not to say woman's rights are not an issue in Iran, but rather, that they are not a central issue and the nation isn't nearly as confused as the United States on the roles of women in society. Liberalism has certainly provided women with opportunities for work in America, but it has come at a high cost: the disrespect for women who choose to stay at home, the de-emphasis on the importance of family and family values, and the structuring of society as to place equal burdens placed on both men and women -- often ignoring that they have different needs. Of course, that was a choice made as a society in America and it is one that must be respected in terms of national self determination, but it is a choice nonetheless unique to America not Iran.

When I look at Iran, I see an excellent example of how progress can be balanced with healthy cultural values. This, in my opinion, is one of the biggest challenges for any country: to balance social and economic progress with sound and positive traditional beliefs. Persian culture is such an extraordinarily strong and rich current throughout Iran's history and has provided for the type of political culture which led to the 1906 Constitutional Revolution, 1979 Islamic Revolution, and current demands for government accountability, that it must be regarded with respect. The Islamic Republic is still trying to find the "balance," but the worst thing it can do at this point is implement the kind of radical reform being advocated by liberal ideologues, with all it's unintended consequences.

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